Exciting = Satisfaction

I receive this cute little newsletter from TheNest.com (a cutesy post-wedding website) that gives tips for relationships, features newlyweds and a lot of other stuff. In one article (7/15/09) about keeping the flame alive in your relationship, there was a study quoted from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. It was about doing activities that were highly exciting and moderately comfortable and how psychologists found that there was much more satisfaction in that than doing activities that were highly pleasant and moderately exciting.
This article was timely for me, as I was starting to get sick of the same ole' routine every night and weekend. I truly think that I am a person who needs variety, after all, it is the spice of life right?
Today, I read on the Happiness Project blog that novelty and challenge bring happiness. I think the stars have aligned and a theme is emerging from all of this! Are people stuck in doing boring things that they are comfortable with?

Take that Challenge
I started to realize that I love challenges when Mike and I renovated our kitchen last Spring. Through all the hard work and frustration, I realized that I felt smart, independent and alive. This made me really happy. I love coming home to my kitchen, not only because it looks so much better, but because it reminds me of the challenge I overcame.

I'm not suggesting going home tonight and ripping your kitchen apart, but even switching up the routine night after night can be really stimulating. Just last Tuesday I went to a book signing for a bread book (Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes A Day) that my girlfriend gave to me (she is the book queen: her blog is bookish bent). It was awkward for me to go and ask questions to these people who seemed like they are bread god's, but it was fascinating to see them in real life and talk to them about their intentions. It brought a depth to the book that I wouldn't have had before. And it has pretty signatures in it now too : ) However, I sacrificed staying in my cozy home on a cold dark night, I even sacrificed eating dinner at the normal time. But I felt so awake and refreshed after going. I learned something new.
I believe that learning is so important to our happiness. Part of learning is breaking out of what we are used to and experiencing something new. Most of us learn when we are challenged.

Take Care
Something to consider though, when planning your next exciting adventure, or many little adventures, is to make sure you have time to decompress. Especially if you are planning a big event. After the kitchen, I needed to not do any home projects for at least 3 months. Even though I am desperate to finish the basement, I know that I needed to brew some more energy before jumping into that project.



So have you been thinking about something that you want to do, that you haven’t before? Go for it! Your life satisfaction index will get a nice boost.

Farmers Market

O-M-Gdnss. How I love the Farmers Market.



Picture this. Sunny summer morning, about 11:30. My lovely co-workerfriend says “Dude! Walk?” which on a Tuesday or Thursday could mean the farmers market. We head out, the breeze has a coolness that smells refreshing. The sun warms the AC air off my arms and face. As we head into the heart of DT St. Paul, we pass the State of MN office buildings with a feeling of belonging to something larger than we are, and then we pass the historic churches made from big red blocks and an even bigger feeling surrounds us.






Passersby have smiles of being out in the air and sun and we joke as we climb the hill towards Wabasha Avenue. You know you’ve arrived at the market because the smell of street food alerts your nose, and if you like hot dogs, your stomach. People are swaying in and out looking over the flowers and produce like eager kids. We do the scope- walk all the way down the aisle between the booths, eyeing all the goods, then, we swing back and purchase things like ruby red tomatoes and enthusiastic flowers.








When we head back to the office to eat lunch, we know that the day is half over, and the happiness that the walk to the farmers market brought will last even longer than the rest of the work day.

There is such thing as too much advice in marriage

I was bipping around my Knot.com newsletter, which surprisingly has some good article references, and I found an article about new marriages (up to 5 yrs) and the detriment TOO much advice can have. Mike and I went through A LOT of education and prep for marriage and we never read/heard this.

The premise is simple, too much of a well intentioned thing is bad. Here is an excerpt: "In recent studies of heterosexual couples in their first few years of marriage, researchers learned that too much support is harder on a marriage than not enough. When it comes to marital satisfaction, both partners are happier if husbands receive the right type of support, and if wives ask for support when they need it."

So gals- that means guys actually CAN'T read your mind, so you have to tell them what you need. Guys, just ask us what we need, it will make things a little more simple. I find it interesting that guys need support, but the right kind is key. Check out the whole article here. I know I FOR SURE have been a culprit of giving too much advice. Poor Mike married a Lund, and we come fully stocked with wisdom, whether it is ego motivated or not is sometimes hard to tell. ;)

I will be trying to give the right support to Mike here on out- he is in school and could probably use the right kind of support.

This Flavor Makes Me Happy

Ever since I was a little girl, my mom would talk about the bread pudding that her mom made, for which she didn't have the recipe. We would be at a restaurant, she would see bread pudding on the menu and consider getting it just in case it was somewhat close to what her mom made, just to savor that flavor once more. Any time she would order, it would never compare, and the disappointment wasn't worth the ordering any more so she just stopped. I had always wondered what the flavor was, or was it just that her mom made it and that was what made it great? There were of course other dishes that my mom loved because they reminded her of growing up, and her mom.

I discovered a flavor that reminds me of my mom (which is a really good thing). Thyme! She used it in a lot of savory dishes, I never really noticed- because I grew up with it I think. When I got married and started doing the majority of cooking I never really considered using thyme. I recently made one of her dishes that called for thyme and the taste really brought me back to the dinner table on Lindig Street. So I started using it more. It is amazing that flavor can really spark a feeling and memories. It is a great feeling for me to cook with and eat thyme, it brings me closer to my mom.

In fact, scientists say that smell (which is a huge part of taste) calls up powerful memories using our "emotional brain." So, you can feel happiness by just smelling something. I think most of us have heard/read that smells can remind us of events, people and a time in our lives. But what I haven't read much about, is if we know something tastes or smells so wonderful because of the memories associated, why not "pepper" our lives with it more? It just might make us a little bit happier, or more fulfilled.

I especially think this taste/memory experience happens around the holidays, with all the food we make that has been on the menu for years. Tradition is full of these flavors.

-What flavors remind you of something good or happy?

-Can you/do you work it into your regular menu?

Staying Right Here- in the Moment

For some reason, I have really been living in the future lately. When there is a lull, or I don't like what is going on at the moment, I hop into what I am getting ready for or excited about. I even sometimes enjoy anticipation more than what I was anticipating. So, my (not so new) idea is to try and live in the moment more often, and not wait for my precious time to pass.

I love the line in Sheryl Crow's Soak Up the Sun song "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got." To me this means appreciating what is in your life, even the moment.

Hey! Come back to the moment!! Tips:

Here are some tips about how to work on staying in the moment, and they are so simple that I love them- gotta keep it easy!!

1. Bring your mind back:

If you are having a "moment" without thinking about it and all of the sudden your mind starts reeling about the things you have to do, or have forgotten to do, stop, breathe, and gently bring your mind back to the present. Don't push yourself into worrying that you aren't in the moment, just re-focus on the now. I sometimes write down what I need to do or remembered, then shut off the worry.

2. Take advantage of time to make moments:

Go for a walk. Call that person you feel like connecting with. Plan a dinner with someone. Or simply appreciate the time you have before you.

3. Focus on the five senses.

Take a deep breath. What does the moment smell like? What sounds do you hear? What do you feel on your skin? These are the details that make each moment special. When you can’t stop the interior monologue from intruding, take a minute or two to create a mental catalog of what this moment feels, smells, looks, sounds, and tastes like for you. It can be a pretty effective way of quelling that inner voice, and at the very least, gives you a few minutes to savor the moment before returning to what’s on your mind.

4. Journal a little bit:

This is one way to get out of meta-thinking (thinking about thinking). Journaling comes in many different fashions. You can old school it by writing in those things called journals, with a pen and all. You can write a letter to someone close to you. Maybe you like to update people everyday on Facebook. You can have an online journal that either only you can see or your Friends too. You get the point, expressing yourself really brings you to think about the now, if that is what you are writing about.

5. Talk it out:

Tell someone about the moment you are in. It can be really simple, like "Wow, check out that sunset!" Or, "Right now I am ______. And it means _____ to me." If you are processing a moment and trying to figure it out, it can be way more fun or meaningful to include another person.

What if I Hate This Moment?

So, what if the moment you are in sucks? I am one who LOVES escaping sucky moments, however, I have also noticed that connecting with the sucky moments can really connect you to yourself. It also makes that fear of the bad a little less powerful. If we have mastered sucky moments in the past, we can do it in the future too. I truly believe what we have experienced has helped us become who we are, so the sucky moments are really important, as long as we do something good with what we have learned.

To Blog or Not To Blog...

For the last three or four months, I had been considering if I should write a blog or not. I have a close friend that blogs- she is a writer and editor though, and reads A TON. Other super smart people have blogs- and they seem to have so much motivation and really interesting information to report. Me, however, I wasn't sure if my enthusiasm over my obsessions would warrant a blog. Would my writing be interesting? Do I have enough to write about? I had many questions. After mulling it over for a few months, I decided (along with another friend) to take the plunge- see what it is like to blog.

Since then, I've been very enthusiastic about blogging. It is a BLAST!

Here is why:

1. I find myself looking at my experiences with a blogger's eye. I am more apt to think about what is happening, and what kind of sense I can make of it.
2. I feel like I am more accountable for what I (think I) know. If I am going to write it down for others to see, I really need to make sure that there is some research and "meat" to my writings.
3. I don't usually write my ideas down, and now I feel like they won't be lost (because I forget A LOT of things). Wait, what was I writing about again.? Oh! Yea- blogging...

Here are some stats about blogs that intrigue:
--175,000 new blogs are being started each day. (Technorati)
--The number of active blogs grew from 56 million to 62.3 million between October of 2006 and January 2007. (Gartner)
--The total number of dead, abandoned blogs out there has exceeded 200 million.(Gartner). SAD!!
Found from: SFGate


There are some blogging basics to know however. I must admit, I have already broken some of the rules... oooops!! My information comes from an experienced blogger Michael Pick with info from by Robin Good.


What is a blog?
"The word blog is a contraction of "web log", a phrase not so commonly used these days. In the simplest definition of the term, then, a blog is a log of your thoughts, ideas, useful links, photos, videos, or the latest news."




Why write a blog?
"There is no single reason to write a blog, as it very much depends on your motivation. Nevertheless, blogging can have a number of benefits, whether it is to help boost the presence of your business online, or just to share and debate ideas with like-minded people."


What to write??
"While this will obviously depend on why you are blogging in the first place, one piece of advice you should definitely consider is trying to find yourself a niche. Unless you are writing for your family or a couple of friends, the best way to distinguish yourself and build a readership is to focus on a particular niche topic or interest."
"There is bound to be something that you are passionate about, that really motivates you, and that is in some way unique to you. That's where to begin your blog from."


If you want it to stand out:
"The most important part of your blog posts are the titles. Because that's what will make a reader that finds your content through a search engine decide whether to visit your website or not. This is the make or break point that determines whether you get read or passed over in favour of someone else's content. Robin Good, in his article on How To Write Great Titles And Headlines For The Web notes that: "Do not try to make the title "smart", by using irony, word play or other "journalistic" approach."
This is precisely the rule I have broken... My titles aren't really searchable....... I'll have to think about it- do I want to lose the cute titles?




How to keep a reader on your page??
Once you have a great title the next thing worth thinking about is what happens when your reader actually arrives at your website. A lot of readers will disappear from a site in seconds unless they are captivated and encouraged to stay.
Muhammad Saleem writes for CopyBlogger that: "Readers will often read content diagonally to determine its usefulness before giving it a proper read."
Robin Good (Information: Beginners Blog Design) writes that "chunking" is important in a blog:
"Chunking is an approach to the formatting of the text that strives to "modularize" contents into the greatest number of meaningful text blocks possible." So chunks of writing- not BIG blocks.


Be bold!
"In order to facilitate readers scanning page contents, it is a great idea to use some "bolding" to highlight the first three or four words of content paragraphs that are particularly important."


A picture tells how many words?
Use pictures- people love them.


Where to begin?
My suggestion is to start thinking about a theme and then decide if you want to keep up a blog. At that point, there are so many research tools out there you can run crazy and be a fabulous blogger! If you start one! LET ME KNOW!

Happy writing!