I was bipping around my Knot.com newsletter, which surprisingly has some good article references, and I found an article about new marriages (up to 5 yrs) and the detriment TOO much advice can have. Mike and I went through A LOT of education and prep for marriage and we never read/heard this.
The premise is simple, too much of a well intentioned thing is bad. Here is an excerpt: "In recent studies of heterosexual couples in their first few years of marriage, researchers learned that too much support is harder on a marriage than not enough. When it comes to marital satisfaction, both partners are happier if husbands receive the right type of support, and if wives ask for support when they need it."
So gals- that means guys actually CAN'T read your mind, so you have to tell them what you need. Guys, just ask us what we need, it will make things a little more simple. I find it interesting that guys need support, but the right kind is key. Check out the whole article here. I know I FOR SURE have been a culprit of giving too much advice. Poor Mike married a Lund, and we come fully stocked with wisdom, whether it is ego motivated or not is sometimes hard to tell. ;)
I will be trying to give the right support to Mike here on out- he is in school and could probably use the right kind of support.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
A Great Article
A best gal pal of mine sent me a link to this article. It is excellent and I agree with it! In fact, Mike and I went to Mississippi Market to buy tomato paste in the JAR!!! So exciting! And I'm not kidding people!!
10 Tips to Detoxify Your Diet
by Janelle Sorensen
I will openly admit I love cheese puffs, cheese curls, pretty much any kind of baked cheese snack - the more neon in color, the better. I also really love artisanal cheeses - and, oddly, cheese puffs, cheese curls, and their brightly colored cousins really taste nothing like any type of real cheese. How do we come to crave these fake flavors? (I know I'm not the only one). More importantly, when did food become so un-natural?
And, our food hasn't simply become more synthetic than ever before, it's also laced with ingredients and contaminants that pose distressing health risks. They aren't like salmonella, e-coli, or other pathogenic pollutants that can cause immediate illness or even death. These toxic impurities are more insidious - subtly causing harm over time.
Reduce your exposure to unwanted ingredients by following these 10 tips to detoxify your diet.
1. Ease up on animal fats. Animal products can contain synthetic hormones, antibiotics and organochlorine chemicals, such as dioxin, DDT and other pesticides, which concentrate in animal fat. The same chemicals that accumulate in animal fats are transferred to our own when we eat them. Then they linger there for years quietly causing damage. When you buy meat, poultry or dairy, look for low fat options (get the unsaturated fats your body needs from plant sources like walnuts, flax seeds, and avocados). Trim all fats and skins and broil meats and fish so that the fats drain away. Avoid frying, which will lock in the contaminants. You can also do your body a favor by reducing how much meat you eat. Making even one vegetarian meal a week can make a big difference.
2. Select safer seafood. Eating seafood is the primary way we are exposed to methylmercury, a potent neurotoxin. Fish can also be contaminated with PCBs, which the International Agency for Research on Cancer and the Environmental Protection Agency have declared a probable carcinogen. Use the Environmental Defense Fund's Safe Seafood Selector to find species that are lowest in chemical and heavy metal contamination and that are fished in ways that are not harmful to our Oceans. Or access the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Seafood Watch, one of the more popular seafood guide's online, who have now made it possible to get their website information with ease when you're standing in front of the seafood case by using their free iPhone app.
3. Go organic. According to the Environmental Working Group, you can lower your pesticide exposure by 90 per cent simply by avoiding the most contaminated conventionally grown produce: peaches, apples, sweet bell peppers, celery, nectarines, strawberries, cherries, lettuce, imported grapes, carrots, and pears. If you're really craving one of these foods, opt for organic. Conventionally grown fruits and vegetables that have the lowest levels of pesticide residue include: onion, avocado, sweet corn, pineapple, mango, asparagus, sweet peas, kiwi, cabbage, eggplant, papaya, watermelon, broccoli, tomato, and sweet potato. You can download the EWG pocket guide that lists these and the dirty dozen from Foodnews.org.
4. Prep your produce. Wash all fruits and vegetables well to remove surface chemicals (and pathogens). It's easiest and most efficient to wash everything right when you bring it home. You should even wash foods with inedible peels - like melons, bananas, and oranges. If there's a contaminant on the surface, you can get it on the knife you use to cut it or on your hand, and then spread it to the part you eat.
5. Ban the can. Canned foods and beverages are lined with a resin that contains bisphenol-A, a hormone-disrupting chemical that's building up in our environment and our bodies. Most manufacturers are beginning to explore safer alternatives, but in the meantime you should choose foods that are fresh, dried or frozen or packaged in glass jars or tetra packs.
6. Bulk up. Bulk foods are often less processed so you reduce your exposure to questionable food additives. Buying it bulk can also save you up to $500 a year! Bulk cook staples like beans and other legumes and store them in your freezer in serving sizes that are appropriate for your family size. You can also buy dried pasta, nuts, seeds, and many other staples in bulk.
7. Cook your cuisine safely. If you enjoy grilling or well-done meat, be advised - you are adding to your cancer risk. Grilling creates smoke laden with carcinogenic polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, or PAHs, which end up on the surface of whatever you're cooking. When meat, chicken and fish are cooked at high temperatures for a long time (aka "well-done"), it creates carcinogenic heterocyclic amines, or HCAs.
8. Read a food label - for real. Ever stop to read the ingredients label on packaged, processed foods? It's usually a mouthful of words most of us have a hard time pronouncing, so what exactly are you eating? You can learn which food additives are safe and which are not by visiting The Center for Science in the Public Interest's food safety guide, but it's even easier to simply choose whole foods. Whole foods are not processed, so they have all their natural nutritional gifts. Look for foods made from whole grains (think whole wheat bread, oatmeal and brown rice) - and it should say "whole" on the label. Make more foods from scratch (it's easier than you think). You'll end up saving money, eating healthier and reducing all the waste created from packaging and processing foods.
9. Wet your whistle with water. Americans drink an overwhelming amount of sodas, sports drinks, energy boosters, juices (that often contain little juice), and other bottled beverages. The first problem with this is that most of these drinks are loaded with sweeteners and artificial flavors and colors. The second is that they're bottled in plastic, which can leach additional chemicals into the drink. Your body is 70-75% water, so hydrate it with water! And, skip the single-use bottled water. Again, it can be contaminated by the plastic bottle. Also, it's less regulated than tap water. Make an investment in a water filter and reusable stainless steel water bottles. They quickly pay for themselves.10. Eat-in more often. When you eat at a restaurant or pick something up from a deli you have very little control over what you're getting. Save money and protect your health by making food at home. When you do go out, make healthier choices.
10 Tips to Detoxify Your Diet
by Janelle Sorensen
I will openly admit I love cheese puffs, cheese curls, pretty much any kind of baked cheese snack - the more neon in color, the better. I also really love artisanal cheeses - and, oddly, cheese puffs, cheese curls, and their brightly colored cousins really taste nothing like any type of real cheese. How do we come to crave these fake flavors? (I know I'm not the only one). More importantly, when did food become so un-natural?
And, our food hasn't simply become more synthetic than ever before, it's also laced with ingredients and contaminants that pose distressing health risks. They aren't like salmonella, e-coli, or other pathogenic pollutants that can cause immediate illness or even death. These toxic impurities are more insidious - subtly causing harm over time.
Reduce your exposure to unwanted ingredients by following these 10 tips to detoxify your diet.
1. Ease up on animal fats. Animal products can contain synthetic hormones, antibiotics and organochlorine chemicals, such as dioxin, DDT and other pesticides, which concentrate in animal fat. The same chemicals that accumulate in animal fats are transferred to our own when we eat them. Then they linger there for years quietly causing damage. When you buy meat, poultry or dairy, look for low fat options (get the unsaturated fats your body needs from plant sources like walnuts, flax seeds, and avocados). Trim all fats and skins and broil meats and fish so that the fats drain away. Avoid frying, which will lock in the contaminants. You can also do your body a favor by reducing how much meat you eat. Making even one vegetarian meal a week can make a big difference.
2. Select safer seafood. Eating seafood is the primary way we are exposed to methylmercury, a potent neurotoxin. Fish can also be contaminated with PCBs, which the International Agency for Research on Cancer and the Environmental Protection Agency have declared a probable carcinogen. Use the Environmental Defense Fund's Safe Seafood Selector to find species that are lowest in chemical and heavy metal contamination and that are fished in ways that are not harmful to our Oceans. Or access the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Seafood Watch, one of the more popular seafood guide's online, who have now made it possible to get their website information with ease when you're standing in front of the seafood case by using their free iPhone app.
3. Go organic. According to the Environmental Working Group, you can lower your pesticide exposure by 90 per cent simply by avoiding the most contaminated conventionally grown produce: peaches, apples, sweet bell peppers, celery, nectarines, strawberries, cherries, lettuce, imported grapes, carrots, and pears. If you're really craving one of these foods, opt for organic. Conventionally grown fruits and vegetables that have the lowest levels of pesticide residue include: onion, avocado, sweet corn, pineapple, mango, asparagus, sweet peas, kiwi, cabbage, eggplant, papaya, watermelon, broccoli, tomato, and sweet potato. You can download the EWG pocket guide that lists these and the dirty dozen from Foodnews.org.
4. Prep your produce. Wash all fruits and vegetables well to remove surface chemicals (and pathogens). It's easiest and most efficient to wash everything right when you bring it home. You should even wash foods with inedible peels - like melons, bananas, and oranges. If there's a contaminant on the surface, you can get it on the knife you use to cut it or on your hand, and then spread it to the part you eat.
5. Ban the can. Canned foods and beverages are lined with a resin that contains bisphenol-A, a hormone-disrupting chemical that's building up in our environment and our bodies. Most manufacturers are beginning to explore safer alternatives, but in the meantime you should choose foods that are fresh, dried or frozen or packaged in glass jars or tetra packs.
6. Bulk up. Bulk foods are often less processed so you reduce your exposure to questionable food additives. Buying it bulk can also save you up to $500 a year! Bulk cook staples like beans and other legumes and store them in your freezer in serving sizes that are appropriate for your family size. You can also buy dried pasta, nuts, seeds, and many other staples in bulk.
7. Cook your cuisine safely. If you enjoy grilling or well-done meat, be advised - you are adding to your cancer risk. Grilling creates smoke laden with carcinogenic polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, or PAHs, which end up on the surface of whatever you're cooking. When meat, chicken and fish are cooked at high temperatures for a long time (aka "well-done"), it creates carcinogenic heterocyclic amines, or HCAs.
8. Read a food label - for real. Ever stop to read the ingredients label on packaged, processed foods? It's usually a mouthful of words most of us have a hard time pronouncing, so what exactly are you eating? You can learn which food additives are safe and which are not by visiting The Center for Science in the Public Interest's food safety guide, but it's even easier to simply choose whole foods. Whole foods are not processed, so they have all their natural nutritional gifts. Look for foods made from whole grains (think whole wheat bread, oatmeal and brown rice) - and it should say "whole" on the label. Make more foods from scratch (it's easier than you think). You'll end up saving money, eating healthier and reducing all the waste created from packaging and processing foods.
9. Wet your whistle with water. Americans drink an overwhelming amount of sodas, sports drinks, energy boosters, juices (that often contain little juice), and other bottled beverages. The first problem with this is that most of these drinks are loaded with sweeteners and artificial flavors and colors. The second is that they're bottled in plastic, which can leach additional chemicals into the drink. Your body is 70-75% water, so hydrate it with water! And, skip the single-use bottled water. Again, it can be contaminated by the plastic bottle. Also, it's less regulated than tap water. Make an investment in a water filter and reusable stainless steel water bottles. They quickly pay for themselves.10. Eat-in more often. When you eat at a restaurant or pick something up from a deli you have very little control over what you're getting. Save money and protect your health by making food at home. When you do go out, make healthier choices.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tomatoelove
I. LOVE. TOMATOES.
Here is my ode to tomatoes:
Spring is here, alas I till and toil
For preparation for growth
Is most important in the soil.
To my baby plants I profess my oath
I will water thee, prune weeds
As you grow up and out.
I wait for heat, and watch for my favorite color
To emerge, it is something my soul needs.
German heirloom so rich, Early Girl so stout.
Savoring, enjoying, all I need is another.
Especially the ones from my garden.
Here is my ode to tomatoes:
Spring is here, alas I till and toil
For preparation for growth
Is most important in the soil.
To my baby plants I profess my oath
I will water thee, prune weeds
As you grow up and out.
I wait for heat, and watch for my favorite color
To emerge, it is something my soul needs.
German heirloom so rich, Early Girl so stout.
Savoring, enjoying, all I need is another.
Monday, November 9, 2009
This Flavor Makes Me Happy
Ever since I was a little girl, my mom would talk about the bread pudding that her mom made, for which she didn't have the recipe. We would be at a restaurant, she would see bread pudding on the menu and consider getting it just in case it was somewhat close to what her mom made, just to savor that flavor once more. Any time she would order, it would never compare, and the disappointment wasn't worth the ordering any more so she just stopped. I had always wondered what the flavor was, or was it just that her mom made it and that was what made it great? There were of course other dishes that my mom loved because they reminded her of growing up, and her mom.
I discovered a flavor that reminds me of my mom (which is a really good thing). Thyme! She 
used it in a lot of savory dishes, I never really noticed- because I grew up with it I think. When I got married and started doing the majority of cooking I never really considered using thyme. I recently made one of her dishes that called for thyme and the taste really brought me back to the dinner table on Lindig Street. So I started using it more. It is amazing that flavor can really spark a feeling and memories. It is a great feeling for me to cook with and eat thyme, it brings me closer to my mom.
used it in a lot of savory dishes, I never really noticed- because I grew up with it I think. When I got married and started doing the majority of cooking I never really considered using thyme. I recently made one of her dishes that called for thyme and the taste really brought me back to the dinner table on Lindig Street. So I started using it more. It is amazing that flavor can really spark a feeling and memories. It is a great feeling for me to cook with and eat thyme, it brings me closer to my mom.
In fact, scientists say that smell (which is a huge part of taste) calls up powerful memories using our "emotional brain." So, you can feel happiness by just smelling something. I think most of us have heard/read that smells can remind us of events, people and a time in our lives. But what I haven't read much about, is if we know something tastes or smells so wonderful because of the memories associated, why not "pepper" our lives with it more? It just might make us a little bit happier, or more fulfilled.
I especially think this taste/memory experience happens around the holidays, with all the food we make that has been on the menu for years. Tradition is full of these flavors.
-What flavors remind you of something good or happy?
-Can you/do you work it into your regular menu?
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
City Bus Culture
I was riding the bus yesterday and had an interesting experience.
There is a certain culture on the city bus. Those of you who ride the bus know what I'm referring to. I will explain a little about my perspective on City Bus Culture- because as an enthusiastic person, it was a little hard to get used to. When I get on the bus I say hello to the driver, to be respectful and recognize their responsibility in driving a lot of "personalities" around the city. I then proceed to not look around, except to find a seat, sit down, and mind my own business. I am almost always a racial minority on the bus compared to the rest of the bus population- which is totally cool with me, but something to note. I sometimes read, or just sit there because it is too loud to read. I sometimes pretend to read if a "personality" chooses me to talk to. I have learned that if you are too nice on the bus, you will unwillingly make friends with people you really don't want to be friends with. I happen to ride the bus that goes between Mpls to St. Paul and a lot of interesting people ride this bus.
So, what happened yesterday? I was conducting my scan of seats, toward the back of the bus as it is most efficient to take a seat there first, so those behind me can get a seat too. The only seats were next to men who were obviously taking up two seats and didn't want to share their space, so I turned around to take a seat closer to the front of the bus. I had to excuse myself by a man with luggage to do this. The woman adjacent to him, said (I think to luggage man) "girl don't wanna sit by the niggas" (imagine a little attitude in the inflection.) I was shocked. I've never gotten that type of comment before. I was immediately angered and that fueled a comeback from me. I looked directly at her and said "that is NOT the reason I'm not sitting back there, I would have to sit waaay to close to someone, there's no room." Then I turned around, and fumed. She replied "I don't wanna sit by the niggas neither." I just minded my business after that.
This was interesting for me though. As a really white person who is middle class I usually don't experience things like this. I won't know what her motivation was for saying that, it doesn't really matter. What I didn't want was anyone perceiving me as racist. It is really important to me that I do my part against racism, I think that's why I reacted so strongly. Was it a good thing for me to react like that? Does my "bus cred" matter? I'm not sure.
There is a certain culture on the city bus. Those of you who ride the bus know what I'm referring to. I will explain a little about my perspective on City Bus Culture- because as an enthusiastic person, it was a little hard to get used to. When I get on the bus I say hello to the driver, to be respectful and recognize their responsibility in driving a lot of "personalities" around the city. I then proceed to not look around, except to find a seat, sit down, and mind my own business. I am almost always a racial minority on the bus compared to the rest of the bus population- which is totally cool with me, but something to note. I sometimes read, or just sit there because it is too loud to read. I sometimes pretend to read if a "personality" chooses me to talk to. I have learned that if you are too nice on the bus, you will unwillingly make friends with people you really don't want to be friends with. I happen to ride the bus that goes between Mpls to St. Paul and a lot of interesting people ride this bus.
So, what happened yesterday? I was conducting my scan of seats, toward the back of the bus as it is most efficient to take a seat there first, so those behind me can get a seat too. The only seats were next to men who were obviously taking up two seats and didn't want to share their space, so I turned around to take a seat closer to the front of the bus. I had to excuse myself by a man with luggage to do this. The woman adjacent to him, said (I think to luggage man) "girl don't wanna sit by the niggas" (imagine a little attitude in the inflection.) I was shocked. I've never gotten that type of comment before. I was immediately angered and that fueled a comeback from me. I looked directly at her and said "that is NOT the reason I'm not sitting back there, I would have to sit waaay to close to someone, there's no room." Then I turned around, and fumed. She replied "I don't wanna sit by the niggas neither." I just minded my business after that.
This was interesting for me though. As a really white person who is middle class I usually don't experience things like this. I won't know what her motivation was for saying that, it doesn't really matter. What I didn't want was anyone perceiving me as racist. It is really important to me that I do my part against racism, I think that's why I reacted so strongly. Was it a good thing for me to react like that? Does my "bus cred" matter? I'm not sure.
H1N1 Probably?
I was away from my blog for too long! I have an excuse though. I (probably) had H1N1 and barely could push the buttons on the remote let alone think and type. I now wish that I blogged through the whole experience to let those of you who aren't going to get it know what it is like "on the inside."
I'll sum it up here. Ever had the upper respiratory flu? It was like that. Only more congestion in the lungs than usual.
I'm hoping that I have some sweet immunity to this junk now. Who knows if getting something really helps your body fight it in the future. Hopefully! One thing I don't suggest is going to a Swine Flu Party. They are these really REALLY STUPID parties where sick people (with H1N1) get together to get each other sick, to build immunity. WOW. I guess there are moments when I am aghast by the things people do, this is one of those moments.
So, please wash your hands, don't touch your face and be healthy this fall. If you do get it, take care and watch your body. Make sure to have the most up to date information.
Here are my fav websites for up to date H1N1 info:
World Health Organization
Center for Disease Control
I'll sum it up here. Ever had the upper respiratory flu? It was like that. Only more congestion in the lungs than usual.
I'm hoping that I have some sweet immunity to this junk now. Who knows if getting something really helps your body fight it in the future. Hopefully! One thing I don't suggest is going to a Swine Flu Party. They are these really REALLY STUPID parties where sick people (with H1N1) get together to get each other sick, to build immunity. WOW. I guess there are moments when I am aghast by the things people do, this is one of those moments.
So, please wash your hands, don't touch your face and be healthy this fall. If you do get it, take care and watch your body. Make sure to have the most up to date information.
Here are my fav websites for up to date H1N1 info:
World Health Organization
Center for Disease Control
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Micromanagement on a Macro Scale
Over the last year or so I have conducted some research about micromanagement and found some interesting articles ranging from really bad advice to some excellent tactics to help workers through their situations. I will give you the short of what I thought was useful.
Webster's Dictionary defines micromanagement as: "to manage with great or excessive control, or attention to details." I of course have to reference the TV show The Office, micromanagement was defined by Michael Scott as "management on a more personal level," also known as 'microgement.' A way of categorizing micromanagement is with the phrase "The more you use the reins, the less they use their brains" causing disempowerment and retarding growth. Myra McElhaney, a corporate trainer and consultant, said that micromanagers deprive workers of the opportunity to learn through their mistakes. Most of us have experienced micromanagement at some point, at home, work, church etc. It really does boil down to personality differences and need for control. Micromanagement can truly be based in fear of failing, looking bad etc. Based on learning styles and personality, some of us can handle it more easily, and some of us can't. Here are some useful tips and a funny graph…
If You Have to Report to a Micromanager:
Five strategies for change By Laura Raines For ajcjobs
1. Find the boss's good qualities.
When someone doesn't trust you to make your own decisions, it clouds how you think about him or her. Thinking of your boss as an ogre, dictator or drill sergeant may blind you to some of his or her good qualities.
"You first have to separate the behavior from the person," McElhaney said. "It doesn't work to confront your boss by telling her she's a micromanager. Identify specifically what the person is doing that frustrates you." Is it the structuring of your workday, the time-consuming reports that you have to fill out, the pointless meetings, or his or her insistence on being copied on every e-mail or document?
By separating the behavior from the person, you might find that you respect your boss's position, hard work or experience, despite the micromanaging. That could be a place to start to build a better relationship and trust.
2. Be deliberate and thoughtful in reacting to your boss's behavior.
"It may be tempting to get even by sabotaging your boss. Maybe you'll decide not to do your best work, not tell him key pieces of information or treat him rudely," McElhaney said. "That usually reflects on you more than on him and could backfire.
"Approach his behavior professionally, with honesty and politeness. Treat him as you want to be treated. That comes from being deliberate and thoughtful about your actions, not just reacting to his. Hard work and professionalism could be noticed by others."
"By choosing to be responsible, reliable and true to your word, you can build trust and change behavior," Smart said.
For example, an office manager worked for a doctor who constantly was interfering with administrative tasks and getting the staff stirred up. Realizing that her boss had high standards and was afraid that everything wouldn't get done, she took a proactive approach to allay his fears. She suggested a Friday afternoon meeting to review the running of the office. In 30 minutes, they would review the completed week and preview the upcoming workweek.
"By [her] establishing an open communication, he felt informed about operations without having to be involved in everything that went on. He was more comfortable and less fearful about letting her do her job," Smart said.
3. Understand and adapt to the boss's behavioral style.
Not everyone works the same way. "One assistant had a boss who was creative, spontaneous and not a morning person. The assistant was task-oriented, consistent and liked to come in early, but she had to leave work on time in the afternoon in order to catch her train home," McElhaney said.
Inevitably, the boss would come up with new ideas or projects late in the afternoon and would make her assistant miss the train.
"[The assistant] began asking her boss if there was anything she needed to do an hour before quitting time. If it was more than she could finish, she assured her boss that she would be in early the next morning and would it get it done by the time the boss arrived. Her strategy helped balance their work styles and retrained her boss not to call for help at the last minute," McElhaney said. "Adapting to someone else's needs goes against the grain of some people, but it's easier if you focus on the goal you want to achieve."
4. Identify the boss's objectives and calm his or her fears.
"Put yourself in your boss's shoes and ask yourself two questions: 'What does he desire?' and 'what does he fear?' " McElhaney said.
If your boss wants to look good to his or her boss and wants the work to be done correctly, then focus on accuracy in your work. Check back early with updates. Assure him or her that you understand the importance of the work and that it needs to be right.
"Show him that you can be an ally in reaching his goals and not a potential problem," she added.
"Keep in mind that micromanaging can be in the eye of the beholder," Smart said. "Some personality types want to be left alone to work, while others appreciate having direction and their boss involved. They don't want full responsibility."
While one person sees someone breathing down his or her neck, another sees a boss who cares. There's a fine line between mentoring and micromanaging. Before you address the issue with your boss, take a close look at the quality of your work and whether the micromanaging is teaching you important skills or keeping you from making costly mistakes.
5. Know when to get assertive -- and when to call it quits.
"If the situation is making you miserable, then it's time for an assertive conversation with your boss," McElhaney said.
She describes "assertive" using the image of children drawing pretend playhouses in the dirt. Playmates will step over the lines to visit someone else's house, because stepping on the lines makes them disappear.
" 'Aggressive' is someone who steps all over your lines," she said. " 'Passive' is allowing someone to step on your lines, but 'assertive' is protecting your boundaries, while at the same time respecting the boundaries of others."
McElhaney suggests that employees use a behavior, effect, feelings/thoughts and results model for an assertive conversation. First, state the behavior you think is excessive, such as double-checking all your work, she said. Describe the effect: It costs both the employee and boss time -- time that he or she could spend effectively managing higher tasks. Tell him or her how it makes you feel, such as like a child or as though he or she has no respect for your abilities. Then present the result you would like: "Could we handle this differently in the future? How about if I do the work, and you give me feedback on the final product?"
The behavior may not change. There are dysfunctional and incompetent bosses who have no interest in learning new skills. If nothing happens, you can wait for the boss to move on, ask for a transfer or look for a new job.
"If you've given it your best shot, and nothing happens, chalk it up to a bad environment for you," Smart said. You'll be happier and more productive somewhere else.
Something that I can suggest as well is to try and emotionally separate yourself from your work. Especially if you HAVE to keep the job you are in. Write down why you are working, what is really important to you and keep that at the top of your head when a micromanager is getting to you. They don't matter, but your list does. When we have bigger and better reasons for working through something we don't like, it is a comfort to know that those you love (or whatever reason) benefit from all your hard work. Also, another way to work through it is use your skills elsewhere. Join a group or start a project where you can use your passions and motivation. If you can't do it at work, you really need to use it out of work to stay afloat and keep learning.
Stay above the stress by using stress management techniques. Take a deep breath. Picture your absolute perfect scene. Stretch your neck and arms. Listen to some powerful visualization sessions. These are things that the micromanager can't tell you how to do, and can't "touch."
Uh oh… Am I a Micromanager?
No micromanager would ever think that they are micromanaging. Everyone should take this test.
Are you a micromanager?
From Brain Death by Micromanagement
If you demonstrate any of these seemingly admirable qualities, there's a big clue that you might be making zombies.
1) Do you pride yourself on being "on top of" the projects or your direct reports? Do you have a solid grasp of the details of every project?
2) Do you believe that you could perform most of the tasks of your direct reports, and potentially do a better job?
3) Do you pride yourself on frequent communication with your employees? Does that communication include asking them for detailed status reports and updates?
3) Do you believe that being a manager means that you have more knowledge and skills than your employees, and thus are better equipped to make decisions?
4) Do you believe that you care about things (quality, deadlines, etc.) more than your employees?
Answering even a weak "yes" to any one of these might mean you either are--or are in danger of becoming--a micromanager.
What can you do if you are a micromanager?
Admit it, and deal with the two driving forces: concern for quality, and need for speed. Invest in the time and training to give your employees whatever they need to make the decisions or complete the tasks you find yourself needing (or wanting) to do. And if caring is the big concern, well, you get what you create. If you treat employees like zombies, then zombies is exactly what you'll get. Sometimes all it takes is giving people a chance to develop more skill and knowledge, the space to use their brains, and a worthwhile challenge. Let your employees fail if they need to. Most people learn by doing, not by being told exactly what to do.
The Macro of Micromanagement
Unfortunately 79% of workers will experience this at some point in their careers. For some it will be debilitating and others it will be minor and easier to deal with. Either way, I'm sending my vibes of strength your way. The bottom line is that we all have choices, whether it is in how we choose to react or even leave the job, we can choose what we do about it. Choice is something, my friends, that can't be micromanaged.
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