Being Prepared for Major Disasters

I recently attended a training related to knowing what to do when large scale bad things happen and thought it was a great thing to be reminded of.

Obviously the big worry right now is H1N1. There are several groups of people, those who are totally freaking out, those who are like “come on, it is just the flu! Get over it!” and those who are in-between. Well, there is a (really small) chance that society could shut down if this flu changes and acts like the bad flu from 1918, so it is best to have a plan. If this doesn’t happen- awesome, it really isn’t a bad thing to be prepared if something DOES happen. Remember Katrina? Really bad tornadoes etc. can still really put us out for the count.

Having a plan, (if you are one of those who are scared) is like having a little sanity back. But more on this later.

There are two areas to think about/prepare for if something big hits us.
1. Have a plan for physical survival
2. Have plan for mental survival


Let’s talk about the 1st one:
There are plenty of websites out there that help you make a plan. I will summarize my favorites.
Ready.gov has a 3 step plan. Get a kit, Make a Plan, Be informed

Get a kit:When preparing for a possible emergency situation, it's best to think first about the basics of survival: fresh water, food, clean air and warmth.
Recommended Items to Include in a Basic Emergency Supply Kit:
· Water, one gallon of water per person per day for at least three days, for drinking and sanitation
· Food, at least a three-day supply of non-perishable food
· Battery-powered or hand crank radio and a NOAA Weather Radio with tone alert and extra batteries for both
· Flashlight and extra batteries
· First aid kit
· Whistle to signal for help
· Dust mask, to help filter contaminated air and plastic sheeting and duct tape to shelter-in-place
· Moist towelettes, garbage bags and plastic ties for personal sanitation
· Wrench or pliers to turn off utilities
· Can opener for food (if kit contains canned food)
· Local maps
· Cell phone with chargers

Make a Plan:Your family may not be together when disaster strikes, so it is important to plan in advance: how you will contact one another; how you will get back together; and what you will do in different situations.
Family Emergency Plan
· Identify an out-of town contact. It may be easier to make a long-distance phone call than to call across town, so an out-of-town contact may be in a better position to communicate among separated family members.
· Be sure every member of your family knows the phone number and has a cell phone, coins, or a prepaid phone card to call the emergency contact. If you have a cell phone, program that person(s) as "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) in your phone. If you are in an accident, emergency personnel will often check your ICE listings in order to get a hold of someone you know. Make sure to tell your family and friends that you’ve listed them as emergency contacts.
· Teach family members how to use text messaging (also knows as SMS or Short Message Service). Text messages can often get around network disruptions when a phone call might not be able to get through.
· Subscribe to alert services. Many communities now have systems that will send instant text alerts or e-mails to let you know about bad weather, road closings, local emergencies, etc. Sign up by visiting your local Office of Emergency Management web site.

Be Informed:
Some of the things you can do to prepare for the unexpected, such as making an emergency supply kit and developing a family communications plan, are the same for both a natural or man-made emergency.
However, there are important differences among potential emergencies that will impact the decisions you make and the actions you take. Learn more about the potential emergencies that could happen where you live and the appropriate way to respond to them.

I would like to add that knowing where to turn for news and information is also a good thing. Figure out what is the best source in your area.


Psychological Health During and After a Disaster
This is less concrete and hard to define. How do you stay sane during a disaster? Well, you pretty much don’t. You use what you have to work with and figure the rest out in the moment. There are things you can do to be more mindful and focused to aid in getting through hard times. Some of the following are just suggestions and may not be appropriate in all situations. I will be including a list of them in my emergency kit as a reminder to myself if I need it.

Emotional Health
· Stress management
o Breathing exercises
o Visualization
o Meditation
· Think about and plan for what you CAN control
· Make sure you are taken care of, your loved ones and then others. It is hard to help someone if you aren’t.
· Avoid things like alcohol and drugs


Resilience
The basic objective of disaster preparedness is resilience. Our community wants to survive and thrive. Being prepared is purely to do work pre-disaster to make it just a little more easy, physically and mentally if something happens. So, take care- and think about what is right for your family. It never hurts to be ready, but it can hurt if you aren’t.

Staying Right Here- in the Moment

For some reason, I have really been living in the future lately. When there is a lull, or I don't like what is going on at the moment, I hop into what I am getting ready for or excited about. I even sometimes enjoy anticipation more than what I was anticipating. So, my (not so new) idea is to try and live in the moment more often, and not wait for my precious time to pass.

I love the line in Sheryl Crow's Soak Up the Sun song "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got." To me this means appreciating what is in your life, even the moment.

Hey! Come back to the moment!! Tips:

Here are some tips about how to work on staying in the moment, and they are so simple that I love them- gotta keep it easy!!

1. Bring your mind back:

If you are having a "moment" without thinking about it and all of the sudden your mind starts reeling about the things you have to do, or have forgotten to do, stop, breathe, and gently bring your mind back to the present. Don't push yourself into worrying that you aren't in the moment, just re-focus on the now. I sometimes write down what I need to do or remembered, then shut off the worry.

2. Take advantage of time to make moments:

Go for a walk. Call that person you feel like connecting with. Plan a dinner with someone. Or simply appreciate the time you have before you.

3. Focus on the five senses.

Take a deep breath. What does the moment smell like? What sounds do you hear? What do you feel on your skin? These are the details that make each moment special. When you can’t stop the interior monologue from intruding, take a minute or two to create a mental catalog of what this moment feels, smells, looks, sounds, and tastes like for you. It can be a pretty effective way of quelling that inner voice, and at the very least, gives you a few minutes to savor the moment before returning to what’s on your mind.

4. Journal a little bit:

This is one way to get out of meta-thinking (thinking about thinking). Journaling comes in many different fashions. You can old school it by writing in those things called journals, with a pen and all. You can write a letter to someone close to you. Maybe you like to update people everyday on Facebook. You can have an online journal that either only you can see or your Friends too. You get the point, expressing yourself really brings you to think about the now, if that is what you are writing about.

5. Talk it out:

Tell someone about the moment you are in. It can be really simple, like "Wow, check out that sunset!" Or, "Right now I am ______. And it means _____ to me." If you are processing a moment and trying to figure it out, it can be way more fun or meaningful to include another person.

What if I Hate This Moment?

So, what if the moment you are in sucks? I am one who LOVES escaping sucky moments, however, I have also noticed that connecting with the sucky moments can really connect you to yourself. It also makes that fear of the bad a little less powerful. If we have mastered sucky moments in the past, we can do it in the future too. I truly believe what we have experienced has helped us become who we are, so the sucky moments are really important, as long as we do something good with what we have learned.

Grieving as a Part of Life

Good grief!! Did anyone ever say that to you when you were pushing buttons and testing limits? I think I've heard this many times over... The question that occurred to me today is, is there "good grief?"

Grief visits us in many ways for many reasons. We can deal with it through a cultural context. For example, many cultures have expectations of family visits, food deliveries and time frames for activity restriction. As far as I know, we don't have any particular cultural rules, more expectations and understandings. Below is my take on the whole deal.

Why do we grieve?

According to the helpguide website, there are many reasons to grieve, and we may experience different levels or intensities for different events.

Some reasons we may grieve are:
Death of someone close to you

A relationship breakup
Loss of health
Losing a job
Loss of financial stability
A miscarriage
Death of a pet
Loss of a cherished dream
A loved one’s serious illness
Loss of a friendship
Loss of safety after a trauma

Even subtle losses can lead to grief:

moving away from home

graduating from college

changing jobs

selling your family home

retiring from a career you loved

What does it look like?

I know when I have experienced grief, especially after my mom died, people gave me a lot of advice asked and unasked for. I think only a few people really had good advice. One person told me to "be how I am." It is funny that after someone gave me permission to be me, did I feel comfortable doing so. It is however, excellent advice. Grief looks and feels different to everyone. And- we need to go through it in our unique ways in order to become the changed person we are to be. That's the kicker about loss, we are never the same after it happens.

Each person exhibits grief in different ways. Some may be uber emotional, some may not. Some may not be able to sleep/eat. Some may feel achy. There really are A LOT of symptoms of grief. The key thing to remember is that you need to let yourself grieve, don't ignore it. Also, you need to let others grieve their way. MANY people assume if someone isn't acting like they are grieving that they aren't dealing with it. Avoid this! Being supportive and asking what you can do, and what they think helps them grieve, is more helpful than telling them that you are worried and think they aren't dealing with it.

Many sources site the stages of grief. For me, it was a nice to know, not super helpful but interesting. For some, it is a great relief to know that they are going through what so many have before them. From Elisabeth Kübler-Ross the “five stages of grief.”

The five stages of grief:
Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

Grief a part of life? Really - does it have to be?

After experiencing a major loss, the first I have ever really gone through, I had one of those A-HA moments. And, folks, it wasn't a fun one. I realized that grief is such a part of life that we may as well become aware of ourselves and others around us, learn what a healthy balance is for you. You may be like- DUH, I totally already knew that!!! But for me, in my happy all the time bubble, it was a realization. So, let's get good at grief, embrace how we are built to endure and grow. And don't forget- grief can be good, in the way that it lets you feel the depths of humanness.

Please visit the Helpguide website site for more information and help during times of grieving: Coping with Grief and Loss.

Racism Exists

I realize that I blog about pretty surface issues/topics but this issue is something that I think a lot about but say little. After hearing a personal account of not so nice experiences this weekend at a neighborhood BBQ, I thought "I'm talking about this."

my journey

Through working in social services for 3 years, I learned A LOT about our culture and the cultures that are foreign to me. Namely poverty and racism. I have never been poor, probably never will be. I am white, I haven't experienced racism like others have. I was able (I feel) to put away a lot of my assumptions and expectations and see all of my clients as people who have amazing qualities. You see- it is hard to appreciate someone who is really different, unless we stop expecting them to be what we think they should be, and starting to accept their uniqueness.

My neighbor's accounts of his experiences in the last two weeks startled me- even though I know racism still exists. I just don't feel it like he does- I'm white. Simple things like riding a bus, going to the doctor, and visiting a big box electronics retailer in Roseville, MN were made uncomfortable, and impossible to accomplish what he needed to just because of his skin and their assumptions.

Before my eyes were opened, trust me, this has been a journey and is still happening, I had some assumptions about people. I was scared to even say the word white or black (or any race) person. Scared to even talk about it with people that I wasn't really close to. I felt that there were still great inequities in our culture, but what they were- I didn't know. I'm sure that I am privileged and have not known my impact on others. I hope that it has been minimal. I knew that the time of "I don't see color" or "we are color blind" was really weird. I was white, you were not, so what, am I supposed to ignore it? Side note: please don't ignore color, race and origin is a large part of who we are, to ignore it is to make someone more like you, thus ignoring part of their true self. Negating it and making it not important.

My experiences bring me to today, where I feel a responsibility to our culture and the people who experience inequities. I have the power to bring this up in the white culture, and I will.

what can even be done?

Most people unaffected by racism don't know that it still exists. Of course! When you don't see it, feel it or aren't close to someone who does, why would you think it exists.


I have come to understand what I feel my responsibility is when it comes to racism. Here are some things that I do:

-Think about me and my actions and thoughts and try to remain supportive and loving of all people.

-Let others like me know that racism isn't going away unless everyone becomes aware of how deep seeded it is in our culture, especially those who AREN'T affected. Also, if you are white and have never been subjected to racism that it does exist. If you have experienced it, please act to educate against it.

-Never forget those around you. Life isn't about what you (or they) always want to talk about, hear and engage in- if someone around you is being racist, don't accept it.

-Something that I do on many occasions is to look at people- all of them, and compliment them in my head. Or think, I bet they have some quality that is really cool. It helps me look at people as individuals, also it makes me shed expectations. If I have an experience with them, I get to know them organically, without judgement.

-Look at these websites:
White Men as Full Diversity Partners
The Working Group
Youth Noise


grace

My neighbor ended the conversation about racism this weekend by saying "I don't let this gorilla (racism) out of the closet anymore. I locked him away a looooong time ago. If I let him out, anger will consume me and eat me alive. I wouldn't be able to live my life. I choose to see the good."


After all he has been through- Amazing.

I Google Everything

To me, google is a verb. It is something I "do" very often. Anytime anyone asks me something I don't know, I tell them to google it. Anytime I start a project, I google what I am about to do. In a way, it feels like asking the elders what I should do. I don't always get the perfect response, but I ALWAYS get a response. Google is there for me (ooop- I guess it is a noun too).


I have a little obsession with finding out what I can about things. Thus the blog. I google and then blog (most of) the things I obsess about. I'm pretty sure this started when I was in debate in HS... Yes- I was in debate. You had to prove what you were saying with research. Now I have a hard time believing a "fact" unless I like the source it came from (and there is a little research behind it). My idea of research may not be purely scientific (i.e. tons of opinions from the mass public) but to me it is worth something, and it helps me form what I want to think about a topic.



I know there are other search engines out there, but google is like the Cub Foods frosted shredded wheat I grew up on- I like THAT taste and none other. The others are similar but really just does not taste the same. Of course when I wanted to blog, I went to google. I am thinking of making a real website (not a fake one!!) and I will be doing that through google. I just love the way it makes me feel when I use it. Whhhoa- is there such thing as a google high?? I think I'm hooked on it.



So, raise your mouse and salute google! Or whatever site you love.

Do you have a particular site that you LOVE? Please share- I always like to try something new.

Food, Flavor and Preference

Ahhhh yes- here is the post you all have been waiting for. Food. Delicious, yummy, satisfying food. Hmmmmmm.



Right now my meal obsession is fried eggs served on fried tomatoes. SO GOOD!



Do you have a sweet tooth? Do you tend to go towards the salty variety? I would eat bags and bags of sweets when I was in highschool, now I have to have salty or savory often to feel satisfied. I also have to have some sort of "salad" which in Maega terms is something of the veggie variety, usually involving tomatoes (as of late). DH gets sick of hearing that “I need salad!!!"



Nature, Nurture and Taste?

The real question is why do we have food/taste preferences? There is a lot behind the answer- and it does have to do with nature and nurture.

Genes and environment lend themselves to the reasons why we like what we like.

"Recent research has demonstrated that our genes help to determine how we detect the basic tastes by influencing the configuration of taste receptors," says Stein. "Part of why you might like broccoli while your best friend finds it bitter is because you have different genes, which code for different bitter receptors."

"Experience is also an important determinant of food preferences," says Stein. "For example, infants and young children need to learn what foods are safe to eat. Even before birth, information about specific flavors of mothers' diets passes to infants through amniotic fluid" (The Science Behind How We Taste, Heather Hatfield).



Sweet vs. Salty

Apparently we are all predisposed to liking some degree of sweet- as humans that is. As for the salty preference, it seems that there are more questions that haven’t been answered. “Bernstein, who co-authored the study, which was published in Appetite, says researchers found that the loss of electrolytes and sodium during morning sickness has an impact on the offspring's salt preference” (The Science Behind How We Taste, Heather Hatfield). So if we really like salty food it may be because when we were in-utero our mom had morning sickness! Hmm, makes me less hungry- poor mom!



Umami??

That is not an insult to your mommy. Umami refers to a flavor, a savory, meat, broth-y flavor to be specific. It is a Japanese term that directly translates to “wonderful taste.” We sense this flavor in a completely different way than sweet and salty. In fact, I'm surprised we don't find snacks out there that are "Sweet! Salty & Umami!" I happen to love umami flavors- bring on the umami!



Training Your Taste

You know those slimy mushrooms you used to hate but now love- maybe you hated the taste of broccoli and now you love it- well, tastes can change and you can inspire them to change.

"Repeated exposure can increase relative liking for a food but may not be able to change a disliked food into one that is liked. In other words, exposure may make a disliked food less disliked. While repeat exposure to a food can decrease dislike, it can also increase liking. " (The Science Behind How We Taste, Heather Hatfield).

We also know of “acquired tastes” like beer, tea, wine (what is on my brain right now??) caviar etc. Social situations can inspire us to start liking something. Just like being conditioned to want popcorn while watching a movie.



Taste Over Time

Have you heard that your ears and nose get bigger as you get older? Well- your tastes change too. Your body creates less and less taste buds as you age, so you aren’t able to taste as well. SAD! So, if you are one of “those” who likes hot food you will just have to increase the intensity of the hotness as you get older- how exciting!

Super Tasters Unite!

Did you know there are people amongst us with super tasting powers?!? Maybe you are one of them… We are on to you! “Among humans, there is substantial difference in taste sensitivity. Roughly one in four people is a "supertaster" that is several times more sensitive to bitter and other tastes than those that taste poorly. Such differences are heritable and reflect differences in the number of taste buds on the tongue” (Physiology of Taste, R. Bowen.)

So! Go out, taste away- and if you don’t like something- give it another try in a fun happy environment.

Happy tasting!

I'm Sorry, I Thought That Was Assertive

Recently I have been involved in researching what assertiveness truly means. My experience has been that aggressiveness and selfishness are often confused with assertiveness. You see someone in line at the cafe barking an order that they said non-fat not 2% milk- NOT assertiveness. A co-worker asking you to cover their shift while walking out the door- NOT assertive. On the flip side, not saying anything about the 2% milk when you truly wanted non-fat. Also, not confronting the co-worker who assumes you will just cover their shift. These are also NOT assertive, or good for both parties.

Definitions

Assertiveness is a form of communication in which needs or wishes are stated clearly with respect for oneself and the other person in the interaction. Assertive communication is distinguished from passive communication (in which needs or wishes go unstated) and aggressive communication (in which needs or wishes are stated in a hostile or demanding manner).
Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, About.comCreated: February 19, 2009 Reviewed by the Medical Review Board

Dictionary definition:
Assertive; Adjective; confident and direct in dealing with others; assertively adv assertiveness n Collins Essential English Dictionary 2nd Edition 2006 © HarperCollins Publishers 2004, 2006

Balance?

It seems that there is a balance to assertiveness- sorta like a continuum. As anything learned (trust me, we aren't born "assertive") these things are journeys- we don't always get things right the first or second time.


What I LOVE about assertiveness is that the basis of it is meeting the needs of both parties. Not violating the rights/respect of one for the other. Also, I am really on an authenticity kick right now and assertiveness is directly tied to being authentic to yourself. If this assertiveness thing could happen just a little more in our lives, it could possibly lead to more harmony!?! Maybe that is my forever optimist speaking...

Assertiveness reduces stress??

I do know for a fact that Assertiveness Training is prescribed to some for stress management. This is something that I truly believe works to reduce stress and get your needs met- wherever you happen to be at the moment. From personal experience- using assertiveness techniques can be a freeing experience. It makes sticky situations more clean and simple feeling. It has given me a tool to stop wasting energy. I can't tell you how cool it is.


I own this book called The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook by Martha Davis, Ph.D., Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, LCSW, and Matthew McKay, Ph.D. In this book are a bizillion tricks to being less stressed (I HIGHLY suggest this book it is AWESOME). Maybe I'll do a few reviews on my fav parts. Anyway, one of the techniques in this book is Assertiveness Training, the professionals suggest it for Anxiety in your personal relationships (spouse, parents, children, etc.)Depression, hopelessness, powerlessness, poor self esteem and Job Stress. Wow... sounds depressing. But there is hope! Cue Assertiveness!

Myths

The LiveStrong website has a post about assertiveness that is GREAT. There is a quiz, research and suggestions for development. All excellent. The author is James J Messina, PhD, is a licensed psychologist with more than 35 years of experience.

Part of the post explores myths about assertiveness. I really think our culture (or the expectations we have about our culture) can inspire non-assertiveness. Here are the myths that really struck me:

Myth 2, Modesty: The inability to acknowledge or say positive things about and to accept them from others. Some people fear that positive self-statements seem egocentric. They fail to discriminate between the accurate representation of accomplishments and over exaggeration.

"Myth 3, Good Friend: This myth assumes that others can read my mind based upon our past relationship, e.g.: "She should have known how I felt" or "My husband should have known how hard I have been working and given me Saturday morning free." One must remember that individuals don't always respond in the same manner to the same situation."

Myth 4, Obligation: This myth indicates that some people disregard their personal needs and rights due to a belief in personal obligations to others. They are often unable to make requests of others they project that others feel the obligation to meet their needs, too. This myth, along with the others, facilitates neither self-respect nor the development of open, healthy relationships.

It can't work ALL the time...

I am a pretty optimistic person- but I am also realistic. I realize that being assertive doesn't always feel great or right, sometimes it doesn't lead us to our preferred outcome. Sometimes it even makes others uncomfortable. However, it is a process and a learning experience. We know now that being assertive DOES lead to a better outcome more often than not. It also helps us move forward with our relationships, our self esteem and our rights.

So. Where does this leave us? My suggestion: Google assertiveness or read the article about it from the LiveStrong website and decide what is best for you. Is this an issue for you? Most likely, there are areas in all of our lives that we could be more assertive. Use assertiveness to the advantage of yourself and others.